WELCOME BACK !!!

Hiya,
it's been a while seens I write blog. I don't know wat to write here cause I really am bz doing all the things I wanted to do during the weekend. I am still unable to find my friends birthday. Or do I really want to buy. Well.... I think I will start blogging again.

Well, tis the last blog....Thanks for keeping all the rubbish here, bye bye....

Happy Birthday Mom!!! I know you cant see this but i really want to tell u tis. Take care for mi so long le, now i am going to army soon. Thanks for everything. Many times i shouted at u, but u did not blame mi... Many moments i still remember... Tml thoough can go out and eat in a restaurant so can celebrate... but my mum prepare something for me cause Sat is sort of a festival for us.... Lol... dunno how to
say... Love you !!

After my mum's birthday is er.... Kelly's birthday and the day I am going to army. Well, at least sms her ba..

Funny thing though, that time i remember, i always miss her so much... but now, i hardly do.

Everytime, reading ur blog, is like a plain life... blogging each and everyday abt one thing. You cant get out of it. Haha. Silly... gal. Life is not like tis. Each of us have a unique path to go, the only thing is we must find it ourselves. There may be misleading paths, big & small obstacles, wat we need is just is a strong mind... Bleah... Rubbish....

Yesterday, I chat wif Anizah, and knew that her fyp is due on 22 June... I think... She dunno the codings and I deleted all my files.... so I ask her to come to my house...

Have a wish, looking for another partner in life... That time I was dumb, I was hoping for a girl much like Kelly or Ayumi... big eyes, long hair blah blah blah..
Now I know it is wrong to think that way, the way I look, the things i look for... is not about looks.. things i hate... perhaps it can be use to choose..... i hope i make a correct thing. Gd thing now is there is not much things to think abt in army when u dun have a gf... it is gd or wat.. Hehe.

Things i hate, speak vulgar, smoke, drinking, gamble... Tis is funny only, cause who knows, after army i will do that... haha..

Ever seen movie or real life where a couple wants to break apart, one party always tried to make the other party to forget him/her.

Gdbyes...? I dun like the word.... dun even like to say them to friends as if we may not see one another again... but mostly I did was just irritate them when I am leaving... Haha...just to let them forget mi... this is wat i think... Dunno if tis is bad..?

Things done till now... None.. Hehe...

Gone out wif friends for farewell dinner on Monday, but shouldn't have gone cause the whole group, I was like left out, should have gone swimming wif the other group, at least they wont lef mmi out.

On Tuesday, went to see movie wif the other group. This movie is quite weird... the movie is call 'Unleashed' starring jet li. Jet li plays danny, a guy who is treated like a dog by a bad guy. He has a collar on his neck and live in a cellar at the basement. All he does is obey and fight. When his gang and him met an accident, someone help him to live a new life.

I dunno why i am writing rubbish here. but this movie let me see the change he(Danny) have done. Well. That was nice...

Been moody lately. Friends, gg to army soon, today.... wish them luck.

Every night, mood keep changing, thoughts began to wonder...

Frankly, it is like going through all the things I had encountered. Cause I am a slow guy, you cant ask me to be quick to response. I can give ppl a gd answer if you give me time.

For the past few weeks since I am out of job, I started spending lots of $$. Haha... I manage to buy sth for my cousin, and since he is sick that day, it is ok to buy one cheap one and he should love that toy very much.

I wan......to stop writing......both.....things... Need to buy books to read.....

There are two groups of friends here, A and B.

Group A has many common intrest and it is very comfortable and fun to hang out wif. They are friends whom I made from the start of my 3rd year. Haha. Just a semester, we get along pretty quick. Most of the time they would ask mi to go out for a swim or a movie... I also learnt many things from them.

Group B is doing lots of childish act and I am very paisei when going out wif them. They are my friends since year 1. Anything they talk about, I wouldn't understand at all, mostly is like ' boys stuff', like car, motorcycle and so on.

Wat the hell am I thinking? Haha. Just thinking onli. Dun get serious.

20/5
Waiting on the train back to home town, Kiwi thoughts wonder about. Now feel like smsing my sis. Funny thing is that Kiwi do not feel emo. Haha. Still early to say now la. Still got 2 to 3 hours of travel. Now is about 10pm and I am starring at the window, outside is so dark, nothing to see. Tml, my sis gonna go interview/teach students, I'll pray hard for you like I promise to, you must also try your best. Chances dun come often. I haven't brought the things that I need for the army. Now is 12am midnight, Kiwi haven't sleep yet, wonder if my sis is asleep or not... The train light so bright, the television channel showing a drama that may still on for the next few hours.

21/5
Reach home town at around 1am. My grandfather and uncle is waiting for us for 1 hour le. Slept for a few hours. Today thought can go renew our IC but it is close. Stuck at home, woke up by my two cousins cause they are playing their games. After breakfast, I switch on my laptop and play game. That two cousins of mine also came to watch mi play. In the afternoon, we went to the shopping center, I saw foolscrap paper that have a cover wif nut face on it. Haha. I brought some games and install one on my cousins lappy. When in Malaysia, all you got to do for a day is chatting, playing, sleeping and eating w/o a car. A really good place for my sis hor.

22/5
Morning now, knew that we only get to renew our IC on Tuesday. Still got two days more. So quiet in the morning.. only my cousins are playing games. What to do at home, still doing the same, play play play. Teach cousins how to play. Late at nite, after our dinner, some of my family members are asleep. A few of my aunties, my bro and mi went out for an early supper. The place we went is an open air cafe. While eating, I could see the moon & stars above me, it is so beautiful and romantic. Full moon somemore. I admire this place a lot.

23/5
Today, did the same old thingy. Stay at home till lunch. After that, we went out to shopping center in Melaka. Wow. Never been to here before. Shopping center so big. We came home at around 10pm, looking out the car window, the moon was round and bright. So lovely.

24/5
Early in the morning, 7am, wake up and go to renew our IC, within half an hour, and it is all done. Came back home and all preparing to go back to Singapore. At 5pm, we arrive at the train station, then the announcement say that the train will only arrive at 5.40pm. While waiting, we heard a news that there is something wrong with the railway. They also say that we will need to alight the train and take a bus and then a train again to Singapore.

Soon, we board the train and now it is nearly 6pm. After we aboard, we ate our 'dinner'. About one an a half hour later, all passengers alight from the train and took the standby buses that has been provided by them. After that, the bus took us to another train station situated one state before JB. Waiting for both the train and the other buses to arrive for at least halfan hour. So long......
Today's moon very foggy and very big like my sis eye. Kiwi now feel very into a romantic mood. Aiya, come back to Malaysia always like to see moon cause here in Singapore where can see, only can see flat, flat, flat and more flat.

Bye to all, I going back to home town for a couple of days. Need to renew my stuff cause going to expire.

Today, I force myself 2 go out wif friends.... Not because I dun wan 2 go out. Is because they ask mi to go swimming. I dun know how to swim but yet wan 2 learn. At least back in 1 piece. I have fun. Hehe.

Today, last day of my work.

First, u r the first gal that allows mi to spend time wif. I know ur blog got write I force u 1. Perhaps is because we r diff races, we can communicate easier. Thats the first time I am able to care for a siblings. Haha.

Second, One of my managers ask mi a qn. what I am going to do afer NS. I kept thinking, who would want a lack of exp, slow learner and make company lose money guy like mi. Since I got a lot of emotions during work, I might as well be servicing ppl, happier servicing ppl, see them smile back, have sort of satisfaction. I hope thats wat I wan.

Everytime i msg someone, i always miss them so much.

After tml nite, I am jobless le. I wanna watch so many movies...

Yesterday saw my sis happy day. so happy for her, she have change, i hope.

Last 2 days, I miss that job, the place, the people there......

4 more days and bb gv.

bb to all my friends there.

Blog blog blog, how long can i c u again....
Friends, friends, friends, how long can i meet u all again...
Family, relatives .... still a long time can c all of them....
Dun know y been thinking of tis.....

A wk more and i will stop working. My sis gonna start work soon. Hope she can cope wif the work.
Over the days in gv, so many incidents, so many mistakes.... found myself so dumb and stupid. Seriously i dun think i can make it even i try hard.
I just pray for all my friends to do better than mi.

Recently, nth to do at home, been playing a gameboy game in my laptop. It is call kingdom of hearts. It has all the disney characters in this game. But there is a story in it. It is about a boy, Sora and a girl, Namine, wif goofy and donald duck, they were friends and one day Namine got taken away by a evil villian called 'Heartless'. Sora fight all the way in order to save her. Each castle he went, his memories began to fade. Soon after, he cant remember her name, her face,
... He wanted to give up but at least there are friends who is beside him, kept encouraging him.
Tis game is so true, maybe one day we cant remember the friends we had before...

Anime - amazing how the Japanese makes the characters wif a very strong friendship and encouraging. Haha
Japanese/Korean songs. Some of my friends always wonders y i like to listen to it. Haha. I dun like to heard lyrics, i just wan the sound. Anyway, hear the lyrics will get emo wasily for mi. Hehe.

Begin to blog again...


Spenting a lot of $$ recently, buying many stuff for my own purpose.....

Wasting money, dunno y, dun even know wat i am doing. they didnt let mi work tis few weeks... making mi wait like this, hate it, tis type of waiting to work, very suffering... cause wat am i doing at home? everytime at home will get emo... haha..

well... tis song i upload is like my sis or even anyone who is emo, they really bruise easily, so must really handle them wif care. Hehe..

Going to army soon.... so many things wanna do, haha, watch movie, play game, blah blah blah,... going to quit work soon.. Well, as for the bear i wanna gif sis, i cant find it, neither does she wan it..... Wat to do... Nothing la. Got her home address might as well sent letter easier, right? Letter of regards since she also seldom blog or online, or is it mi.... she found a job, at least is a gd news...

sis, if u haf problems, u can at least share wif ur friend, yanie..., k?

Hope 2 stay contact wif u ...

Wahahahha.... cant find wat i wan.... am i useless....

Well, just a quick blog to write wat happen yesterday. Last nite while selling tickets... there's one scene i cant forget. A couple buying tickets....both of them using sign language.. They need a pen to write on a piece of paper. When i am about to tell them how is the seating like, the woman gave a sign language to tell mi that she can hear... I write back to tell them.....and so on.

I wish that they will live a happy life.

Should have learn some sign language.

Yeah... Finally brought ayumi single... today after work keep ;ooking for sth to buy to somebody

2day work again, after that came home with a fever.. walking in the rain lor. lying on the bed, cant hardly get up.


Now fever is gone..

If we meet again, i'm gonna get watever u wan.....


Today met wif so many friends from NP... Like giving mi parting gifts.

Well, today is the star of my day off.... 3 days... but, wat to do now? So confuse and worse, really sad. 2day rent 4 vcd home, but didnt feel anything today....
NO FEELING, NO MOOD, Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y....?

Wat am I doing?
How do I spend my day when I am off?
What am I waiting for?
Funny thing is i dun even have anyone to share things wif....

Play, eat, slp became so difficult.......

Today wanna blog sth... I wont be seeing u for ur Monday interview. So. U should be able to pass the interview. Since that few days we came across one another, sth bad have happen 2 both of us... not bad thingy.

Dunno wat to blog, dunno is happy or sad now...

Wat 2 write... I got my result... I pass my fyp. And I met nut again yesterday. Didnt say much, even I wanna talk to her.

Today, my off day. But still going to meet rm and tp. Met nut twice... Met up wif anizah, rm, hazel and tp to buy din birthday present.

dunno y every time i wish to see nut, but then i c le, i hav nth to say, and didnt even dare to stand beside her, is kiwi still scare to be beside a gal.? haha.. oh well, know that u r fine can le, i dun wish for anything. just really happy to c all my friends.

Somethings just isnt shown by ur outside.

Wanna write sth in this blog, but... receive mindef letter and 2 months later going to army le......

A song lyrics grab from a chinese song

Translation :
let go of ur love, let go of ur hand, if ur heart is not here.
let go of ur love, dun wanna wait, ur gentleness become blank.
let go of ur love, open ur heart, this time i decided to walk out of the past and start from the beginning.

@@@@

Sitting right here, so early in the morning, i work 6 days per wk... one day of boring stay home day... play game,.. dunno wat to play, no mood to play... Wish to go out wif anyone who is willing to go out walk walk.. I been trying hard in my work, some say i stupid, some know that i always count wrong $$. But i try hard not to think i am useless..but sometimes i guess so ... useless... But one of the senior staff any how scold staff... everyone also scold.... She say all malaysian r like mi, so stupid. i didnt put that in mind as i know most overseas ppl will work beter outside of their country not to let ppl to look down on them. i wont be klled so easily, nor i am a quitter. all that childish thoughts, all the naive behaviour and thinking, all must throw away. Came so far tis way, i have lots to learn. i have change so much... like another guy... is amazing sth can change mi tis much... NP yr 1 is a guy who is stress all the time, scold ppl(my best friend, mom, family), hot-tempered, like to be alone...
Now, like to be with ppl, smile all day, smile for nth or anything, making friends, learn new stuff, make lots of mistakes, bare the anger and scolding from the managers, didnt scold any of my friend.

tis person now left wif sth that has not been changed, and it should been done a long time ago. that is quit shouting at my mom or family. tis i gonna try all my best to become the complete person from 2yrs ago, my old self.
i hope some of the ppl will understand that when friends give u advice, they dun wan to control wat u do or wat u think, they wan u to know they care for u and some advice if tis and that u did wat can happen... it is a reminder... perhaps listening to them is ok rather than assuming that they wanna control ur thoughts and scolding back at them. the mistakes i made, i dun wanna repeat, neither i wan my friends to do wat i did.

i know i am not decisive, i always ask friends for advice.. the rest is up to mi if i wanna do or not.

it is glad to know some of my friends have part-time job. Whether got job or not, as long as u r happy, then ok le. if u r not, go find sth that will make u happy.

nut: dunno u read tis or not, teach ur tution, dun stress urself, dun blame urself, try ur best. everything has the first time. smile, laugh, and a day will pass.... U will always be my sis.

Haiz... wat to write... my sis still mad at mi, perhaps i know that time i msg her sth...

Time to blog, tis few wks... Wat am I doing, wat have I been doing... Work work work, almost everyday, wahaha.... Lets c, concentrating on my work, well, sort of.. but down a lot of $$. Sad. Got ppl to laugh wif, chat wif... A gd life. Got many movie preview to c... Can remember the sad, romantic, and scary ones.. Today working nite time, haiz... till morning... slpy. Everyday sms my sis abt happening, zzZzz

Today, done sth wrong, down money again. So sad, even worse, i upset my sis....

Sian stay at home for wat?

Hi Blog, Yesterday went work at 3. Dunno wat to write here. So many ppl didnt go work, we all r so bz doing. Well, c if today is the same ma?

Yesterday, some of the 16+ gals said they r tired. I met some old full-timer that I nvr met before. Monday is an off day, I hope I can go out wif anyone who wanna go out walk walk.

Hi blog, feeling slpy already, didnt dare to tell nut about tis, cause i been working tis 2 days and keep working everyday. Dun intent to stop. Haiz... If not she confirm ignore me. Haiz... Go chalet ma...? I work nite, nite, nite. Dun have time to think of luv, nor got any mood swing, gd hor. Hehe. Waitting for my NS. Parents not at home again, visiting grandfather so left mi and my bro at home.

rhh... So tired... Dun have time to play now... Haha... Just kidding. Is it now very boring, keep working? Haiz.. I suddenly miss many friends.

Y..Y..Y.. Some ppl have friends to hang out wif, some have family to go out wif. Mi, family seldom go out. Friends arh, who will remember mi...? Haha. I wanna go out, who shall I look for? y must I always look for girl girl to go out wif....zzz


Hi blog, say i miss my sis... miss u blog, haha. Today, finish avfe.


Having dinner wif my team members, then sitting beside Kelly...Haha.

So sian, tml parents not at home le. Dun feel like playing, wanna go out, but dunfeel like going wif anyone....dun wanna go out alone also....wat am i thinking

Well, today report pass up, demo le, go home crying. Haha

I kept quiet throughout the demo, all qns unanswer, best thing was, my application is not realistic. Haha,well, luckily didnt buy prom nite tickets, cause wont be graduating. HAHAA.
Just now waiting for bus, really wanna kill myself, the chances of passing so slim, nana say dunno how to help mi. How am i gonna face my parents?

Hi Blog, Sry to abandon u. I was living in my dream land. Been doing my report. Sad thing is that no one is avilable to help mi or even contact mi. I like to thanks Nadhirah for 'accompanying' mi this week though is I force her to. With your company, I am motivated to the report at least someone know I exist.

Throughout, from the developing of program till doingg the report. We been helping each another. But when working on the program, you are always staying at your club house and dun wan to do elsewhere. Sometimes when I ask you to do with mi cause you need help, you always ask mi I am with who. Shy or not, if you really need help then go ahead. Most of the days, I will always go to the clubhouse to check on you. It is kinda funny, is a crush. So deep... getting even deeper each day. During the writing report week, we often tease one another. I remembered that day your neck cant turn to your right. I tease at you. Moody isnt good at all, since you cant get any work done. Your mood makes mi feel like eating you up. Sometimes I dare not look at your face cause I may do something foolish. There was once where we stay at the club house till 9 pm. Few students are around that club house area, and we r doing the coding together, never know you always stay so late in school, but now, you always go home earlier. Another day, when we were going home, I told you that if you wan, you can change bus at your usual stop. That moment, when you were about to stood up from your seat, I wanted to grab your hand....

But somehow, when we didnt meet for a day, I kept thinking of you and become moody. Sometimes it is funny when we r doing the FYP together, either one of us is moody. Through the FYP, I know more about you and I began to like you. R u really important to mi, I wonder. Trying all ways to help you instead of my friends, even the closes one. That day, I even cried in front of you, so stress & afraid that my report could not finish. Today, I made you wait for the sample report that is with mi. How I wish I could give you sooner. Today, I had finish my report. After that, I did not play any game because I have no mood to play. I am missing something important. Ya, now I didn't listen to any songs to write all this.

After the FYP thingy, there are a few things that I will keep thinking:

1. The demo. Aiya, worry for wat, demo la.

2. Friends. I will miss all my friends(or not). I am not going to the Prom Nite so really is the last chance to see you guys in school. Mei Mei, thanks for listening to all the stupid stuff I chat with you about, all my sadness and sorrows. Nad, really thanks for accompanying mi(if I didnt force you, but most of the times yes).

3. Work. I wanna go and work all day unless if someone wish to go out everyday, I can quit my work and accompany that someone.

4. Game. Well, play the online game for so long already. Cannot stop, but will try to.

5. Assignment. The last assignment of the AVFE, need to do a good job. My teammates are not that creative, wont listen to my ideas.

Today, sad cause the start of report cause mi to cry. Dont think I have the time to do, all I feel like doing is to play,play,play & die. I hate words. Trying so hard to do the wordings part, still have so many to do. People say they can do in a day....I really cant........

Today, thanks to nut from the special tree....Really happy to do the report wif u...Haha....I keeps disturbing u wif my insults.... Poor nut cant turn....even if there is a cute guy to ur right.....

after the demo, After doing report, cannot c u guys again.............

Well, Sat & Sun didnt work, didnt bother to ask whether I am working or not... Haha

Slacking like the rest of my friends......Havent start fyp, still playing....

Friends, Hah... I got many when doing coding. Now, I left wif none...
Haha.... Funny right.
Haiz. Now Left wif 2 options :
1. Keep playing games.
2. Do assignment alone.

Y cant I have someone now? Y? I am really in need of help...cant just anyone at least stay wif mi for a while... I know la. Tools is only use whrn necessary, u can treat mi as if i am not there la, dun neglate mi can le.

I am a guy. Yet I get really emotional, keep crying because of this sort of things. When playing games, got ppltalk to mi, so fun... When I doing any assignment, if got ppl chat, then is motivation le.

Tml, 'A' say she not going to sch le. OK. Today I didnt do fyp, been playing all day, thought tml can do fyp in sch wif her. Ask 'B' they got book project room or not, she reply not going to school. Should have known.....should have....y gave mi hope when there is none. In the past, I dun trust anyone of u, cause I am always on my own. After this few semester wif u guys, I try and trusted u guys. But, I shouldnt be so silly/naive.

'A' wanted to help mi find sth I lost... I dun think u can help. Cause the lost is u.

I will stop here, if not, my mom will c my tears.

Y am I so patience with her........?

Am I waiting for her............?

Sigh............If I cannot c her, Kiwi cannot do anything

I cant let u go, I dun wanna............

I am so sad today, tears roll down my eyes............My fyp, the logic, is not there... The more I think about this, the more I am scare..... Y..... Y not one is beside mi at a time like this......

Havent been blogging for a few days le. These few days is just moody, dun feel like doing anything other than playing MS. My mood keep swinging. Lol. Been trying to help girls rather than guys. Sometimmes, dun even know y I am helping. Mine even cannot make it le, then y help ppl?

Today, didnt do fyp again. Been 'trying to help friends' again. Haha. Not much of a help. First time this semester felt so stress.

After 'helping' ppl, decide to change my blog skin. Browse a few, this blog skin now, is more of a femine color, but, it is really lovely.


I have finally realize sth. I felt so lonely during this fyp days. I really wish to have someone to accompany mi til the very end. Friends, when u ask them out, they just ignore u. When they need help, they would keep asking for u.

Sis, a funny thing to say is that sometimes u say I force u to go out with mi, u r willing to go with mi. I am really happy cause my thinking is fix at one way. How I wish I could correct my thinking. How I wish I could have true friends. How I wish I could have friendss by my side when I need them..........

Sian...Loving a nut..... I have a crush on u.....Didnt u know? I like u so much, miss u so much..... Hoping for a chance...........



Sicker and sicker thinking of u everyday.............cant even do fyp

Today, doing fyp in sch wif her. Haha. lame. Dun put name. Kiwi finally(almost)finish fyp. Need some checking. Thanks to her, my concentration is full today. But, after today, we may not c one another again. Lol. Haiz. Cant c her, cant do anything. How I wish I m not so emo. How I wish to say this out, after the fyp. Haha...... I dun mind the result.

I am so lucky to meet u. Just now, I wish I've stop u from getting off the bus, dunno y. I really lost in her le ma? I dun wan her to lose concentration on her fyp.........

Y am I like that................
Sob, sob, sob.... Kiwi dun wan her to leave.

Not myself these few days

Haiz.... Today, this afternoon, after her reply, i got moody, cant concentrate on my fyp. Becoming my old self. I walk ard the library, chat wif my friends then came back to do fyp, at first i couldnt start, then I done sth, finally. Read my sis blog, ya, yesterday did sth , suddenly walk away from her & her friend. Ha. I dunno y. Today, almost two different person now. Y? keep asking myself. Is kiwi really have a crush on her? I do not know. Yesterday doing fyp keep thinking how to do my fyp. Then seeing her wif other guy, kiwi also a bit jealousy. Haha. Well, been thinking over & over.

Try :


1. To finish fyp
2. Not to think of her
3. To help friends
4. To stop playing game





After the coding part, guess she wont need my help or wanna even c mi....

Kiwi...............I hate u............I hate u so much....................U r sick..........Go and Die...............Go and Die...............................

Sry, sry, sry................sry, sry, sry.............................



YYYYYYYYYY. Wat happen to mi...... Y sudden mood change? Perhaps u havent change a bit, kiwi. Changes, huh? Wat for change? just for ppl, or urself? Nth change after this ma...

Haiz, today is Valentine day. Early in the morning woke up, go to sch to meet TP. Sian. Dun wan to go out. Cant help TP to solve his problems then he sian and didnt do anything. I need to do fyp, concentrate. but go home play game. Nana got to see the prototype in 2 days time.
Today, I rush to her, but didnt help her much in fyp. Dare not look at her, dare not talk to here. Assume that she is not there. Kiwi got a funny thought... Haiz.. She also kind of sad. Dun know y? For quite sometime, the chse is so quiet. TP and the rest make jokes abt mi, haiz...They too stress le. Gave her chocolates and then left.

Kiwi gonna be crazy..............................................

I wanted to give u sth for valentine day. Not because of any reason, but cause u r a special friend to mi. Been thinking.....can hardly slp. Cant even do anything. Need ur motivation. Need to c u...So depress. So desperate to c u. Giving u things on this day, scare we nvr be friends again.... Wat am I thinking? I am willing to spend $$ on u. Sorry for not replying to u. It doesnt matter the result, I knew the result le, but still gonnna do rather than regretting things u nvr done. From that stupid blog of mine til now. Fell so deep cant get out. Sitting there beside u, I dare not look at u. I know that I am not ur type of guy. Sry

Y again? Y must I do this to myself?

Sth is missing, but wat?
Didnt do fyp, playing ms all this days..........

Nth to blog today. I finish my avfe proj. Didnt do fyp. Tml wish to start. Pls help motivate mi. Anyonne?

3 thoughts during CNY

1) While watching a movie on tv. Realise sth. U wan sth cause that sth is taken by someone else. Losing something to somebody else and regret. And then u will know how precious it is to u. I might as well grab that chance before anyone.

2) Thinking of, if I die, who would I first think of? Perhaps is my family, or someone else.... Which is it so important to mi?

3) Everyone is given a song entitle to him/her. Everytime I listen to, I will remember them, I wont forget them. Every event we had together. I pictured it in my mind.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

CNY Eve. Yeah. Doing fyp & avfe for a while.
Then play MS. Hehe.

Today, completed my sales person side of the system. Yeah...But too many errors.
Sian today, keep doing fyp, cant chat cause the rest all doing fyp. So gloomy.

Today, wanna say sth that I have been thinking of since I am working. I keep wonder y so ppl, come to watch movie, one malay, one chinese. Haha. like couple sia. But Singapore is really a multi racial country. Many sort of 'couple' from different races watching movie. Really close friends. I could smile during work, not because I need to, I am really happy cause...i dunno. Everytime they smile back, is like a satisfaction. Lol. That stupid blog of mine need to delete away. Anyway, think holiday didnt work ba. Do fyp, do IS, do, do, do.

Yesterday, morning before going to work, my sis is having a fever. Ask her to rest, dun do fyp. She didnt reply much back.

Dun know if I have been cheated ma. Mei Bing wanna change shift wif mi saying she got some problem, but is Lyettnet who is asking to mi. I saw Mei Bing smiling away when I am working. Nvm la. I dun wan to know the truth. All candybar staff working during my shift, mostly r female & Malay. Haiz... Got one time I turn to my right and look at other staff to see got anything to do, then the Malay girl, Mei ask y I keep smiling...Like I must look gloomy during work. Lol. Then I turn to my left since there is nth to do ma. My first trainer,another Malay girl, dunno how to spell her name, first time saw her smile, she also ask mi y I keep smiling, got cio bu arh... Aiyo, must serve ppl must smile. Found out that a girl that can speak chinese and look quite like a Chinese, but is exactly a Malay. Ask her how come can speak Chinese and she said she learned it in K1, then father stop her from learning. She is a funny girl, told mi that she have yet seen a 'yan dao' for the past few hours. She also said that she saw one in JP GV. She say that guys that r attach also not that 'yan dao'. The Malay girls there is not really that fiece after all. They r really friendly & pretty. Haha.

Smsing back to my sis at midnight cause cant reply during work time. She dun know how to do sth for her fyp. So late didnt slp. Came home ard 12 plus. Didnt do fyp, got play MS.

Today, going off to work soon, din do fyp. Tml not working also, haha. Someone change shift wif mi le. She need $$, dun know is the truth ma? I dun wan to think of anybody lying to mi. Rozmail, sry, I hope to work during the CNY, I got no hong bao to take. Haiz.. Like no $$ like that. Do fyp of course I will do but I think I can do at home le. If I cant I ask u out to do lor. The Spongebob movie I confirm by tml. Hehe.

Today, slept at 5 am. Woke up at ard 11pm, straight away on my laptop and quickly start my fyp. Dun wanna be left behind. CNY got work. Got hong bao na. Hehe. I wan. Mi, didnt go back home to celebrate, thus, Ringgit really little lor.


These few days, not been having enough slp, dunno y !!! But my mood have started to change, having a 'didnt do fyp 1-day can die' haha else I really die. Got to do tourism also.

Every minute,, every sec, u r in my mind? yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?



Seeing ur blog now, u r trying so hard to focus. I wish u all the best.


Anyone free doing fyp nxt wk. Haiz. sian. Dun know nxt week sch got open ma.... I wan to do fyp leh.

Updating 2 days blog, since my sis hate mi so much le, I guess can write more here. Everytime how I wish I wasnt writing any blog. Every blog is all sad memories, y isnt there any happy ones?

Monday 31-1-05
Wasnt my day. Cant concentrate on my work and wat I am doing. Very depress. Losing a sis and a gd friend. Thats all........

Tuesday 1-2-05
Here, writing my blog, crying. Blaming myself for wat I have done. I deleted her from my blog. She is happier now, I think. That day saw ur blog after our arguement, u say u dun have a bro. Hurt. I been wondering wat started the arguement and y? Wat am I trying to say to u? Wat r our assumptions? This morning at 2am, lying in bed, I cant sleep, staring at the ceiling kept thinking of Nad. The days during our ITP & going out wif her. I cant forget it. It is all my fault losing a friend/sis. Haiz. Writing all this is just temperary because this is how I felt for now. Words put in any where is hard to change, so action does the rest. Y? Y am I so stupid? Cound't make any friends? Now, even make them go away...... Feel like dying.

I dun wanna compare anything. U at least got chse friends, got ppl chasing u, u r lucky. For mi, I kept myself at home everyday, practically doing nth. From Pri till now. Hardly any old friends. Before I came to NP, one of my friends told mi that he hopes I am not at the same class as him. No one to talk to, no one to help mi, share my thts, believe in mi. Felt so lost. Ppl just treat mi as some kind of tools. I dun wanna make any enemies, trying not to lose any friends cause I have a few.

I try to chat wif them nowadays, no one responsed. I take initiative to ask to chat. No one takes the initiative to chat wif mi before. No one even go 'shopping' wif mi before. U help mi c sth in this world. I met u, I live a far more different life. I like the way I am now, but now, I have started to go back. Way back.

I am the one who is always the odd one out. Every time when I go out wif Rong Ming, Din, Anizah & Hazel, I am always the odd one. Everytime looking at them laughing talking to one another. I dun feel like talking cause when I talk, it is all about work, sch work, fyp .... It irritates ppl. I dun have any common interest as wat they have. Hate scoccer, car, almost everythings that guys really like.

I wan u back. Could I ever? Hope u will not hate mi for this. Nad, I will always remember u ass my sis & not a friend.

Dear Blog,
This may be the last blog that I wish to write. just argue wif my sis then my wholle family. I dun know y I am so in a bad mood today. Maybe I lecture my sis, but she do not wan to listen to ppl nagging her. For an emotion person like my sis, u must go wif the flow, talk to her slowly emotion ppl will think slowly & response back slowly than others. I forget that. I do not want my sis to be this way. To say sth bad, u arent surppose to be this? R u a gal? Wat is ur name? How old r u? Y sacrifice sth for someone? Huh? Y dun wanna sacrifice sth for urself. Nad is mostly motivated by her emotion, yet is ofter not motivating her. As a gal & perhaps a strong kinestactic person, she can hardly control the emotion. Every we, as friends, say or do, even a slightess movement, will change her mood. She tends to think a lot. I told her that I feel like slapping her after the conversation. U deserve a wake up call.

Seeing her blog, she just read a book then got a fear that she has. So? Wat the hack r u hinting ppl? U r that sort of person, probia of going outside. Sis. When I am talking to u, I feel like scold all that vulgars to u. Who u r is not wat u think, but is depend on wat u do. Sometimes, I think that u r scare of sth, I think u r scare of ppl lecturing or scolding u. Now, my guess is correct. U know y. U just dun wanna change to a 'new' Nad bcoz u wan sth from the past.... u wan sth very important to come back to u. U should know wat urself wan. This is just wat I assume.

U allow ppl to view ur map but u nvr view other ppl map. Changing is perhaps the best for u. U r just being stubburn.

The last sentence I told her was rude, saying that dun let mi c her in sch, or else I will slap her.

Sis, gd enough or not? huh? Who r U? A sis only, I dun catergorise human whether they r gd or bad.. I learnt a lot these 3 yrs from u, ITP, work & friends. U r not a bad sis, just a 'stubburn' one. Wanna change others, y not try to change urself. U change mi in some way, I think that I have become better, or at least i try. Wat about u? U think we wanna lecture u arh? Who would waste time to say? All of them r ur friends or r the ones who care for u. Cant u see. Wat? U can onli see ur chse, and ur so call dream? Quit it. This is reality. Snap out of it.

Updating every thoughts that I have.
How I wish to blog yesterday, but oh well, blog today together lor.

Let see... I still a bit sad about my hamster death. I know la, quit thinking, nth la. Haiz...he pei mi since I came to NP til noe...been at least 2 yrs. Everyday when I am sian at home, I mostly will find my hamster then chat with him, if not I disturb him when he is sleeping. Sometimes it get frighten.. Ha. He is very active. Hard to handle. My mom always say that I am like talking to my son like that. And she scold mi because I go very near the cage and look at him, course dunno how many wk nvr wash le. Maybe I remember how it smell/stink, the way he bite the cage, climb the wheel, scratch himself. I like to gave him everything that I assume that he can eat. If he dun like, then he will give a signal saying he dun want. All the food he ate is mostly wat human eat la. I know u all will just say I will kill my hamster this way, but my hamster just go away in his sleep... Think if u r a hamster, everyday eat dried food, who would wan to, right?

That nite before he died, my bro came home & tell mi that he need to take pics of my hamster for his proj. I stop my game & go carry it. My bro say that he need to take pics of him dying. I try flipping it & I know that he wouldnt like to be flip, so I just tell my bro try to take pics in other positions. That nite, I cant remember it has been a month since I had hold him. It is like giving mi a last chance to see & hold my hamster, is it fate? These few days I have been thinking of him. Today, my mom brought some jelly. I remember that mom gave my hamster the jelly. I feel like giving it again, how I wish....I could... *Sob* *Sob* I stop blogging about him now... I just cant control the tears now.


I am having problema wif my sis. Perhaps wat I did is told the truth & result in a bad situation. Perhaps I have been thinking so much... She seems to be avoiding mi. I dun know. I realise I am so dumb 'saying it aloud'. Somehow, they didnt let the matter bothers them. With their help, I manage to get back my old self. I did my fyp like I promise myself. Try to stop irritating my sisters. Now I feel like forgetting that I have two sis. Haha.. Not that I dun wan them, sometimes, I wish that I can have a friend to share my problem. Then ask myself, who r they to u? Wat do u wan from them? Y keep bothering them? Dun u see that they have a lot of problems themselves? I was wondering y in the first place I have godsis? Is it a gf I wanted instead of any friends/sis? I dun have anyone to love or be love....is it this that I wan from them. So confuse!! Kiwi think so much for wat. So naive...lame guy, do ur fyp first. Concentrate.

PS : Tell mi wat is love? How does it feel like?


Yesterday working in gv. I saw a girl. Wow, red long hair, skinny gal. Dun know y I am so attracted to her. Cute ba. Oh well... I have been sort of acting funnily these few days. Wondering, Kiwi, y keep looking at girls wif big eyes & long hair & skinny de? Y keep looking for appearence? Y am I so dumb? Y keep thinking of irrelevant stuff? Wat? U wan a gf like ayumi arh? Siao la. Snap out of it, Kiwi...


Everyone has 2 personnality in our own self. I named my 2 personnality as Kiwi & Khian Wei. Haha.

Khian Wei is 'quite' a quiet guy, so stress up in everything he do. He scolds his best friend before. A hot-tempered guy, who keeps everything to himself. Like wat some will say, a shy guy. He gets moody everyday. Irritates most of his friend. Seldom got friend to talk to cause they all scare he suddenly yell at them. After his 'first sis', he become a bit more open.

Kiwi. A guy after his ITP & his 'second sis'. He dun stress up like Khian Wei. He is more cheerful. Well sort of. He is now working in gv. Must smile when doing this kind of work. Must make sure that ppl will feel welcome. Haha. Kiwi is quite different from Khian Wei.
Trying to switch to & fro btw these 2. When I am working, I can activate Kiwi. If I am doing fyp, I can activate Khian Wei. If friends doing fyp wif mi, sometimes I just activate Kiwi to tell them to relax.

Dear blog, I wanted to write my blog in a happy way today... but I cant.... Started the day, I play MS. Then go sch to do fyp. Met up wif Colin. Then met wif Kelvin & the rest. I manage to do some today. I know I really slack, each day do one thing. I am happy cause I manage to get old self back. Without my sis ard, I manage to do sth. So happy.

Going home, step into my house. See my hamster, when I take a closer look, just saw him lyingthere motionless with ants near its eye. I stood still there, sad. Feel like crying. I regret that I didnt take care of him for this 2 yrs. It die because he old le. When he die, he was sleeping. I dunno lah. Y must he die now, Cant u just accompany mi thr my 3 yrs. ....................


Hope that u have a better life!!!

23rd, Sunday, I written a blog on a new website. I sent the link thr sms to my two sis. Wat the hell am I thinking? Wat am I doing? Oh well, sent already to late to do anything about it. I write about sth that I shouldn't have write. :X Going to work, for the first time working wif Rong Ming... haha. Quite sian.

24th, Monday, doing fyp in school, end up 3 hrs sitting down there looking at kel they all talking & eating. Regret. Jie Hua is not in sch. After they ate, I quickly try to solve my vb..but just lazy to do. Dunno y I still got no mood to do. Stuck there le, in the past, I should be trying all the way, but now I am slacking. Y? After that I went home to wait to watch movie with Rong Ming they all. Aiya...wait for so long also didnt call mi, guess they dun wanna watch le....After I took my bath, then they call. Haiz. Then go out, go walk walk at Mustafa. The Indian is having festival..wow. We buy a few items there then when we go out of the place. They all wan to go Geylang. Aiyo, first time go there, they all say the things all like so new to mi. I keep asking them wat is this wat is that. Lol. Funny right? Then we saw a lot of ..... Lol. I dare not look. Oh well... After that we go to a park, I forget wat is the name of the park. The wind is chilling. We took pictures there. When we went home, Anizah scare us saying she saw sth. All of us run & laugh. Hehe. The surrounding is empty without any car or ppl, onli us. Then we go eat prata & then went home at ard 4+ am.

Today go to sch early in the morning. Make up lesson for my IS MR module. zzZZzz. Sleepy. Manage to meet up wif Nadhirah in the bus. Haha. Then do practical & do fyp in library. wah. My problem in vb that took mi a few days to solve now can solve le. Dunno y everytime got sis ard, I can concentraqte more on wat I amm doing. By the way, y my sis so keen on getting cheese for mi? Dunno lah. Think she got a bit fever.

Hiya blog. Sorry to blog so late. I was working today. Well. Today first training in RC. Alone. Learn how to start it up 'late' & learn to 'cook sweet corn'. Haha. But sady, I has done some calculation error, short of 10 dollars. Sad.... Luckily manager didnt scold. Tml I am doing floor, & so is RM.

I wanted to start my fyp on Mon, I made up my mind. But to set it, I may rely on someone, perhaps.

Sis, I wanted to watch a movie wif u. Hope u can be free someday. Make sure u do ur fyp also.




PS: Die lah. Again, I am so sick. Y am I so stupid & lame. Bzbody. I regret getting my meimei blog..... I regret talking to my sis in some way.

How I wish to blog today but there is nth to be written here. I wrote a letter, well sort of for my sis. I cant change her in some way. Hope someone out there can help/guide her.


I felt so stupid everytime I wanna tell her abt something. Cause my sis very emotional. Can be hurt by small thing. I know how everything can be like. But I just wanna help her. Wat should I do? She like avoiding ppl, hiding in her own chse... Will she be alright? So worried!!

Didnt do fyp today, play all day.

Hehe. Sorry for the late blogging. Early in the morning play MS. Dun nkow y, but just feel like playing. Then go sch sit there for lect then do fyp in the library wif my friends. Haiz... No mood to do. See all my friends doing. Y I so slack? I try to stress myself... maybe change back to my old self. Now, I dunno when I must stress and when I should not.

PS: Sis, saw ur blog for today, didnt know u scare of crowd. Sry. Then nxt time dun go out wif mi then. Bleah. I miss my sis so much, Dun know y? Felt so lost lei?

Today, very sian. Dun know y am I in sch in the first place. Haiz...Doing fyp alone in sch. My sis, doing fyp at home. I should be able to predict her mood. Lol. Sitting in the library, doing my coding, copy & paste. Blah, blah, blah. Didnt do a lot today. My sis think also didnt do a lot. Dun know if she is ok or not. Haha. She say she found a cheese for mi, but i dun like any le. Perhaps I am not ready for one. Anyway, sis, u find ur own, dun bother about mi.

This week no need to work. Yeah. Can do fyp for 3 days continuously. So happy, yet no mood to do. Soon as my sis is gone, I stop doing my coding. I tried so hard to start back, but I cant do it. so sad. Haha.

Today & yesterday, keep playing games & working. Doing floor. Haha. Ppl dun know wat it means. Oh well. It is just at the entrance tearing tickets & other stuff. Yesterday, a friend kena scolding cause we let a baby into the cinema. NC16 leh. Felt so stupid, shouldnt have let them in. & Y the parents like that? Told them that the movie is NC16 & contain unpeasent scene for kids. The f2 wheelchair spoil le. Got ppl in wc come watch the show. My colleague help them to another wc machine for them to go up the stairs. I stood there helplessly. Aiya. Y I am standing there doing nth?

Today, 4 teens wanna watch Seed of Chucky(NC16), then check their IC. The 2 guys r allow to go in but the 2 gals havent reach their birthday yet, so we cant let them in. Yesterday also got one case like that. Haiz...

So many days of work, I am still not learning anything....

Today, been giving ppl bad luck. Haiz.... Go work so many unlucky thing happen. Felt sorry for the person whom I work with. Lester. Nvr checked the age of the person, nvr check if they got bring outside food or not. Aiya. Y?

Today,everything was smooth. A nice fine day to begin with. My VB manage to work. So happy. Scold my sis thr sms. Dun wan her to sit in her 'chse' everyday. U have to come out once in a while. Ur mood must change also. Change for gd la. Slowly also can. Thats all I have to say. I know I sms you a lot everyday.

Today go school do fyp. Woke up t 11am today. Too slppy & very dizzy. Go JP wif my sis then go sch. Aiya, doing fyp in the chse. Felt funny but just do lah. All my sis friends are there perhaps she got the mood to do there. Trying to do my prototype, but got some errors and have not started at all. Tml got ITI test, didnt care at all. Today, got to see the person whom my sis has told on her blog. Hmmmm....sis, is ur choice & is his choice to choose.

Hi blog, nowadays been blogging once every few days. My sis very angry wif mi le. Not just because I didnt blog everyday, but then I neglect her yesterday during the afternoon briefing. I didnt mean to.

Wat I did for 10, 11 Jan & yesterday.

10 Jan. Go to school to do fyp. Didnt bring laptop wif mi casue all is hardcopy. Doing nth in the whole afternoon. Didnt get to meet Nana cause when I check my mail, the meeting time he has given mi is over. Then I resend another mail to him using my sis com. Got one guy there hugging my sis bear and slpping in the sofa. Then I rush to work le. Make new friends and think is mean friend ba. Aiya. They still young ma. Ask mi to do this & that. New Friends: Horace,Ivan,Melissa.

11 Jan. Go to sch in the morning, very slppy cause work until 12 plus last nite. Early in the morning split ourselves into 4 groups in our avfe class. Go out and film sth wif the video cam. Our group keep walking ard & didnt know wat to film. Boring. Someone say go swimming pool & film. Haha. We first record other group then ppl swimming. After all that filming, We went back and all of us gave the tutor the things we caught on video. After that, I waited in school to met my supervisor. Luckily he say I can start developing my prototype. Yeah. Can start le. After that, I went to my sis chse and sit there. So many ppl in the chse, so pai sei sitting there. Nth to say here cause my sis keep asking about fyp stuff, but then she didnt even touch on it. Sad. Going to rush to work again, saw my sis bear lying on someone laptop. Hmmm...It is a happy bear? My sis ask mi is it a male/female. Haha. Today, doing Floor wif a malay guy. He is a nice person & quite old. Hehe, only 30 la & single...haha. Then he say he got fiance. He smokes, funny. New Friends: Xing Yi, Ramlan,Garrick,Christina.

12 Jan. Didnt go sch today for an 'important' briefing. I dun care la. But my sis is there already. Ya...I left her alone out there. Mean, right? My head is bit giddy. Play, play & play until time to go to work again. Do,Do,Do at candy bar today. Nth for mi to remember. Go home early than that two days la. Keep smsing both my sis today. Wow. 50 plus outbox. Reach home, on my lappy & chat a bit. Then both sis went offline le. Ask Kelly if she got do her MQE, she ask to see my assignment. Haiz...Dun know if I think a lot, but now I given up. If friends r the type when they need help then suddenly will remember u de, then that is really not a friend at all. U r just a stepping stone for him/her to step on to reach their goals. I think Kelly is one & I am just a stone for ppl to step on. Haha. Siao. I say ask her friend loh, she got a few friends in the MQE class. New Friends: Christopher,Lye Huat,Yi Ming.

PS: Rong Ming say to the manager that I am that type of quiet boy...Now, U cant assume who I am. I have changed. Thanks to a few ppl & my class. I grew. Trying hard to be this way. Stop my worrying, keep simling, now, always. Hehe. Sis, I dun wan cheese now. All I wan is to see is that my 2 sis had a steady cheese and is settle down.
Rong Ming is right. Kelly is not the only girl in the world. Working in gv, saw many girls, but then didnt feel like looking at them.

Hi blog. So bz nearly forget about u...

Being almost three days le. Doing my work on Sat & Sun. Sat I am doing a nite shift. Start of work, scolded by VJ, cause I didnt count the amount correctly. Haiz... Dun know a lot of things yet lazy to learn. Serve customers must be fast. Mostly count wrong amount. This is worst. Before closing, we saw two guys carrying a girl, each grabing one hand & one leg trying to throw here down. One of her friends is buying sth from the candy bar. It is really dangerous cause they carried her until the edge le & over the ...dunno wat it is call le. Anyway, reach home by taxi at about 3am plus. Dun wan to wake up my family. Disturb my noisy hammie.

The following day, work up at 10 plus. Quickly do my MQE assignment. Hope I can pass cause got no one to ask. Dun dare to ask Kelly also. After that, I went to Bugis with my family. Saw many models & lots & lots of collective items. Wow. So many anime collective items. Wish I could buy them all. Wanted to buy sth but my bro said too expensive. All items are imported, thats y. THen I have to rush to my work place. Everything I done, very slowly. Kena scolded by so many ppl. Today scolded by one of my manager. Rong Ming doing RC and he went off soon after I go work. As usual, I am working in the candy bar. Dunno y this job makes mi happier. They say that at the candy bar, we can speak freely, the rest like the floor & box office, it will be very boring. Everyday doing closing, clean popcorn machine everyday. Today, I read my NLP book. The info inside really excites mi. Today, manage to talk to a few of my colleagues, found that most of them are 16, waiting for their 'O' Level.

After these few days, I found that boys != gentlemen. Y? So many customers, all the girls r carrying the popcorn & drinks. Boys didnt. Boys buy ticket & girls buy popcorn. Funny ma... No.

PS: This two days, dunno y, I misses all my friends a lot. Especially my 2 sis. Seldom see them online or in school. I also bz working. Worse of all, my schedule is ruin by my job. The coming Mon, Tues & Wed I got to work til closing. OMG. I dun care lah. Who to blame? Mi lah. Who ask mi nvr go write down the time on that sheet of paper.

Hi Hi Blog.. Just To inform u that I have nothing to write, just saying I'll be working tonite til morning. Cya tml.

Today, wat have I done....hmmm. MQE class. Early in the morning must come out & present sth. Preparing us for our assignment 1. Luckily, the tutor say can write in papers. Whew. I wrote sth about scolding my friends loh. How I should handle it if I have another chance. Should put myself on other ppl shoes before any action. After giving the paper to the tutor, the tutor gave us a mark cause it contribute to the participation marks, then we can go off. Wow. 8am class to 9am..cool. Nxt class got test. Didnt study at all. Sitting at the atrium waiting for my class wif Yong Wai & Willy eating sandwiches. After that we go co-op to buy drinks. Saw all my classmates gather there. Haha. Like a class gathering. I donated 10 bucks to the Tsunami donation drive. Lol. So little.

My MR class, tutor still give us revision before we had our test. Haha. The test qns all dunno. After 1 hour, go for lunch. So boring but yet so gd...Hehe.

The last class, too boring..to mention.

Tml need to work nite shift tml. Haiz... Who willing to visit mi?

NOTE: My sis seldom talk to mi le. Dun know y. Perhaps my assignment 1 should write sth like this.

This morning woke up at 7am. Go work... Learn sth new today....Hehe.. First time open a cashier. So scare. Luckily got auntie to help mi, she is very cheerful, working for GV for 13 years...Since the opening of GV Plaza. She gonna retired soon.. So many new things to learn.

My sis. Think she is still lying in bed ba. Sick loh. Ask her to go see doc dunno got go or not. The other meimei dunno go where le. Msn & sms her also no reply..

Oh well thats all.

This morning keep calling GV, nobody answer my call. Go to lec, then talk to Daniel. Haha. I know Rong Ming also say mi, say for a small matter wanna quit. Go for experience onli. Like this cant go on, then I dun know how I can work in the real environment. Right?

After the lec go eat lunch wif Jia Hui & Winnie, didnt eat la. Then went library and do fyp, Seriously didnt do at all. Tht my story board is ok ready. At 4pm, onli 4 of us r wif Nana. Liana msg mi, she say she at NUH... Dunno y. Kept calling my sis, hehe, wu liao.. About the presentation to Nana, mine got lots of problem & very few features. Must show him nxt week again. Jia Hui & Mei Fang ones r ok. So...gd. Jade came first time to meet Nana then went off after my presentation. Nana many things also dun wan to let us do...Hehe. After meeting Nana, Jia Hui looks so stress. But then, I felt so calm. Thats is not mi, am I like this? Starting of poly, everything, the stress word is like written on my face. Friends keep on saying dun stress. Now looking at Jia Hui, I didnt stress at all, I keep smiling. She got a lot of things to change. Maybe the scenario. Chill. Then we went back to library and I pack my bag then go home..Alone. My sis going silat.

At home, so many ppl online, no one bothers to reply mi. Wander y? Aiya. All doing fyp ma. Dumb. Most nicks r 'stress'. Haha. My sis not feeling well today. Poor girl.

Scare..Scare.. AVFE first assignment deadline. Aiya. Yesterday keep playing now panic. Then he say got demo someemore. Mine really lousy la. Aiya... After that met with Rong Ming to eat lunch, didnt eat as usual. Then go do my fyp wif Jia Hui, Winnie, Angeline, XiaoMei, Joshua & Rong Ming near the Blk 56. They dun wanna go library cause very cold. Trying to do my ERM while waiting for my sis. Wow...Can concentrate a lot without my lappy. Jie Hua came then went to the library cause there very hot. Saw Jia Hui & Rong Ming so stress. I also keep pesting Jia Hui. Nana say tml 4pm meet. Haiz... I got work leh. Call GV also no one pick up. 4pm, call my sis, then met her. She say she dun wanna go JP le. Haiz... Should be no mood again. This is common la. Maybe cause I say sth that she assume I am saying it is her fault. Assumption is not very gd at all. Dun assume things. I msg her a few times hoping to resolve sth.

Everytime I need someone/somebody to accompany mi then I can accomplish stuff. Today, although my sis didnt go to JP wif mi, I am very grateful to her cause I done sth for my fyp and not sitting at home playing game. It is not at my own will like wat my sis msg mi. I dun like to sit there doing my fyp. Sometimes I feel like it & sometimes I dun. Today is a dun feel like it day. Thinking since tml working then might as well go home play all day la. If there is no waiting for sth to happen, u would not wanna wait any longer. This is sth that is worth waiting. Maybe I am just use to wait for sth to happen. Believing in miracles a lot. Everytime saw u, dun know y I feel so relieve. Haha. Anyway, if u dun like ur bro then tell mi. And then tell mi sth I need to improve. Everyone is trying to improve himself/herself, for better or for worse. I wan ppl to advice mi for some reason, y? Only true friends will guide u and advice u. Dun be like mi, sometimes mood swing then my friends all scare of mi. Ask mi out, I say ok le then last min, backout.

After that I went to JP. Rong Ming & Hazel also going to JP. Throw the book into the return book slot then head down to the comic shop. Sad.. The comic havent come out. Go to mj & decide to buy my Ayumi cd. Dvd? Who can borrow mi so I can play it.... Going home just listening to Nobody's Home over & over again. Dun know y suddenly feel like it. Keep thinking of sis while listening.

Nite, found myself talking to a angry manager. Now wanna quit job also cannot. Now then I realise Ihave no time for work now. Wat am I going to do? So confuse. Y must make myself suffer. All my fault.

Wow. Early morning blog. Just came home. So tired. Saw Zhen Quan just now at the bus stop when going home. He watch soccer then wanna take taxi but no taxi for him to take. The bus also havent come. He still got a class today. Hehe. Funny. Y watch outside, still got a mrg class to attend also. These few days of work, most of my trainers r malay gals. Haiz... Make some friends. Make more errors. Get more scolding.

Haiz...Do my ERM wrongly. Now dun wanna do anything just wish to play. So boring. No one around to chat. Nadhirah also looks kind of moody again. Pls sis, smile more. Today met my secondary sch friend, he say I look fiece. Haiz...

Woke up at 2 Jan afternoon, yesterday doing nite shift. Play all the way from morning until when I was about to go work. Working area, new ppl, new faces. Packing nachos again. Ok lah...do very slow...Hehe. But then kena ask out to be cashier. Haiz. Everything cannot remember...so scared. The person keep on testing mi, make mi so confused. Saw Siew Fai, & one of our lecturer, at 1 am. Siew Fai didnt recognise mi. Worry about today, they going to ask mi to do. What am I going to do. Now very slpy.

My Sis -> Hope u slp well last nite. While u slpying, I miss u a lot. Haha.