Dear Blog,
This may be the last blog that I wish to write. just argue wif my sis then my wholle family. I dun know y I am so in a bad mood today. Maybe I lecture my sis, but she do not wan to listen to ppl nagging her. For an emotion person like my sis, u must go wif the flow, talk to her slowly emotion ppl will think slowly & response back slowly than others. I forget that. I do not want my sis to be this way. To say sth bad, u arent surppose to be this? R u a gal? Wat is ur name? How old r u? Y sacrifice sth for someone? Huh? Y dun wanna sacrifice sth for urself. Nad is mostly motivated by her emotion, yet is ofter not motivating her. As a gal & perhaps a strong kinestactic person, she can hardly control the emotion. Every we, as friends, say or do, even a slightess movement, will change her mood. She tends to think a lot. I told her that I feel like slapping her after the conversation. U deserve a wake up call.

Seeing her blog, she just read a book then got a fear that she has. So? Wat the hack r u hinting ppl? U r that sort of person, probia of going outside. Sis. When I am talking to u, I feel like scold all that vulgars to u. Who u r is not wat u think, but is depend on wat u do. Sometimes, I think that u r scare of sth, I think u r scare of ppl lecturing or scolding u. Now, my guess is correct. U know y. U just dun wanna change to a 'new' Nad bcoz u wan sth from the past.... u wan sth very important to come back to u. U should know wat urself wan. This is just wat I assume.

U allow ppl to view ur map but u nvr view other ppl map. Changing is perhaps the best for u. U r just being stubburn.

The last sentence I told her was rude, saying that dun let mi c her in sch, or else I will slap her.

Sis, gd enough or not? huh? Who r U? A sis only, I dun catergorise human whether they r gd or bad.. I learnt a lot these 3 yrs from u, ITP, work & friends. U r not a bad sis, just a 'stubburn' one. Wanna change others, y not try to change urself. U change mi in some way, I think that I have become better, or at least i try. Wat about u? U think we wanna lecture u arh? Who would waste time to say? All of them r ur friends or r the ones who care for u. Cant u see. Wat? U can onli see ur chse, and ur so call dream? Quit it. This is reality. Snap out of it.

Updating every thoughts that I have.
How I wish to blog yesterday, but oh well, blog today together lor.

Let see... I still a bit sad about my hamster death. I know la, quit thinking, nth la. Haiz...he pei mi since I came to NP til noe...been at least 2 yrs. Everyday when I am sian at home, I mostly will find my hamster then chat with him, if not I disturb him when he is sleeping. Sometimes it get frighten.. Ha. He is very active. Hard to handle. My mom always say that I am like talking to my son like that. And she scold mi because I go very near the cage and look at him, course dunno how many wk nvr wash le. Maybe I remember how it smell/stink, the way he bite the cage, climb the wheel, scratch himself. I like to gave him everything that I assume that he can eat. If he dun like, then he will give a signal saying he dun want. All the food he ate is mostly wat human eat la. I know u all will just say I will kill my hamster this way, but my hamster just go away in his sleep... Think if u r a hamster, everyday eat dried food, who would wan to, right?

That nite before he died, my bro came home & tell mi that he need to take pics of my hamster for his proj. I stop my game & go carry it. My bro say that he need to take pics of him dying. I try flipping it & I know that he wouldnt like to be flip, so I just tell my bro try to take pics in other positions. That nite, I cant remember it has been a month since I had hold him. It is like giving mi a last chance to see & hold my hamster, is it fate? These few days I have been thinking of him. Today, my mom brought some jelly. I remember that mom gave my hamster the jelly. I feel like giving it again, how I wish....I could... *Sob* *Sob* I stop blogging about him now... I just cant control the tears now.


I am having problema wif my sis. Perhaps wat I did is told the truth & result in a bad situation. Perhaps I have been thinking so much... She seems to be avoiding mi. I dun know. I realise I am so dumb 'saying it aloud'. Somehow, they didnt let the matter bothers them. With their help, I manage to get back my old self. I did my fyp like I promise myself. Try to stop irritating my sisters. Now I feel like forgetting that I have two sis. Haha.. Not that I dun wan them, sometimes, I wish that I can have a friend to share my problem. Then ask myself, who r they to u? Wat do u wan from them? Y keep bothering them? Dun u see that they have a lot of problems themselves? I was wondering y in the first place I have godsis? Is it a gf I wanted instead of any friends/sis? I dun have anyone to love or be love....is it this that I wan from them. So confuse!! Kiwi think so much for wat. So naive...lame guy, do ur fyp first. Concentrate.

PS : Tell mi wat is love? How does it feel like?


Yesterday working in gv. I saw a girl. Wow, red long hair, skinny gal. Dun know y I am so attracted to her. Cute ba. Oh well... I have been sort of acting funnily these few days. Wondering, Kiwi, y keep looking at girls wif big eyes & long hair & skinny de? Y keep looking for appearence? Y am I so dumb? Y keep thinking of irrelevant stuff? Wat? U wan a gf like ayumi arh? Siao la. Snap out of it, Kiwi...


Everyone has 2 personnality in our own self. I named my 2 personnality as Kiwi & Khian Wei. Haha.

Khian Wei is 'quite' a quiet guy, so stress up in everything he do. He scolds his best friend before. A hot-tempered guy, who keeps everything to himself. Like wat some will say, a shy guy. He gets moody everyday. Irritates most of his friend. Seldom got friend to talk to cause they all scare he suddenly yell at them. After his 'first sis', he become a bit more open.

Kiwi. A guy after his ITP & his 'second sis'. He dun stress up like Khian Wei. He is more cheerful. Well sort of. He is now working in gv. Must smile when doing this kind of work. Must make sure that ppl will feel welcome. Haha. Kiwi is quite different from Khian Wei.
Trying to switch to & fro btw these 2. When I am working, I can activate Kiwi. If I am doing fyp, I can activate Khian Wei. If friends doing fyp wif mi, sometimes I just activate Kiwi to tell them to relax.

Dear blog, I wanted to write my blog in a happy way today... but I cant.... Started the day, I play MS. Then go sch to do fyp. Met up wif Colin. Then met wif Kelvin & the rest. I manage to do some today. I know I really slack, each day do one thing. I am happy cause I manage to get old self back. Without my sis ard, I manage to do sth. So happy.

Going home, step into my house. See my hamster, when I take a closer look, just saw him lyingthere motionless with ants near its eye. I stood still there, sad. Feel like crying. I regret that I didnt take care of him for this 2 yrs. It die because he old le. When he die, he was sleeping. I dunno lah. Y must he die now, Cant u just accompany mi thr my 3 yrs. ....................


Hope that u have a better life!!!

23rd, Sunday, I written a blog on a new website. I sent the link thr sms to my two sis. Wat the hell am I thinking? Wat am I doing? Oh well, sent already to late to do anything about it. I write about sth that I shouldn't have write. :X Going to work, for the first time working wif Rong Ming... haha. Quite sian.

24th, Monday, doing fyp in school, end up 3 hrs sitting down there looking at kel they all talking & eating. Regret. Jie Hua is not in sch. After they ate, I quickly try to solve my vb..but just lazy to do. Dunno y I still got no mood to do. Stuck there le, in the past, I should be trying all the way, but now I am slacking. Y? After that I went home to wait to watch movie with Rong Ming they all. Aiya...wait for so long also didnt call mi, guess they dun wanna watch le....After I took my bath, then they call. Haiz. Then go out, go walk walk at Mustafa. The Indian is having festival..wow. We buy a few items there then when we go out of the place. They all wan to go Geylang. Aiyo, first time go there, they all say the things all like so new to mi. I keep asking them wat is this wat is that. Lol. Funny right? Then we saw a lot of ..... Lol. I dare not look. Oh well... After that we go to a park, I forget wat is the name of the park. The wind is chilling. We took pictures there. When we went home, Anizah scare us saying she saw sth. All of us run & laugh. Hehe. The surrounding is empty without any car or ppl, onli us. Then we go eat prata & then went home at ard 4+ am.

Today go to sch early in the morning. Make up lesson for my IS MR module. zzZZzz. Sleepy. Manage to meet up wif Nadhirah in the bus. Haha. Then do practical & do fyp in library. wah. My problem in vb that took mi a few days to solve now can solve le. Dunno y everytime got sis ard, I can concentraqte more on wat I amm doing. By the way, y my sis so keen on getting cheese for mi? Dunno lah. Think she got a bit fever.

Hiya blog. Sorry to blog so late. I was working today. Well. Today first training in RC. Alone. Learn how to start it up 'late' & learn to 'cook sweet corn'. Haha. But sady, I has done some calculation error, short of 10 dollars. Sad.... Luckily manager didnt scold. Tml I am doing floor, & so is RM.

I wanted to start my fyp on Mon, I made up my mind. But to set it, I may rely on someone, perhaps.

Sis, I wanted to watch a movie wif u. Hope u can be free someday. Make sure u do ur fyp also.




PS: Die lah. Again, I am so sick. Y am I so stupid & lame. Bzbody. I regret getting my meimei blog..... I regret talking to my sis in some way.

How I wish to blog today but there is nth to be written here. I wrote a letter, well sort of for my sis. I cant change her in some way. Hope someone out there can help/guide her.


I felt so stupid everytime I wanna tell her abt something. Cause my sis very emotional. Can be hurt by small thing. I know how everything can be like. But I just wanna help her. Wat should I do? She like avoiding ppl, hiding in her own chse... Will she be alright? So worried!!

Didnt do fyp today, play all day.

Hehe. Sorry for the late blogging. Early in the morning play MS. Dun nkow y, but just feel like playing. Then go sch sit there for lect then do fyp in the library wif my friends. Haiz... No mood to do. See all my friends doing. Y I so slack? I try to stress myself... maybe change back to my old self. Now, I dunno when I must stress and when I should not.

PS: Sis, saw ur blog for today, didnt know u scare of crowd. Sry. Then nxt time dun go out wif mi then. Bleah. I miss my sis so much, Dun know y? Felt so lost lei?

Today, very sian. Dun know y am I in sch in the first place. Haiz...Doing fyp alone in sch. My sis, doing fyp at home. I should be able to predict her mood. Lol. Sitting in the library, doing my coding, copy & paste. Blah, blah, blah. Didnt do a lot today. My sis think also didnt do a lot. Dun know if she is ok or not. Haha. She say she found a cheese for mi, but i dun like any le. Perhaps I am not ready for one. Anyway, sis, u find ur own, dun bother about mi.

This week no need to work. Yeah. Can do fyp for 3 days continuously. So happy, yet no mood to do. Soon as my sis is gone, I stop doing my coding. I tried so hard to start back, but I cant do it. so sad. Haha.

Today & yesterday, keep playing games & working. Doing floor. Haha. Ppl dun know wat it means. Oh well. It is just at the entrance tearing tickets & other stuff. Yesterday, a friend kena scolding cause we let a baby into the cinema. NC16 leh. Felt so stupid, shouldnt have let them in. & Y the parents like that? Told them that the movie is NC16 & contain unpeasent scene for kids. The f2 wheelchair spoil le. Got ppl in wc come watch the show. My colleague help them to another wc machine for them to go up the stairs. I stood there helplessly. Aiya. Y I am standing there doing nth?

Today, 4 teens wanna watch Seed of Chucky(NC16), then check their IC. The 2 guys r allow to go in but the 2 gals havent reach their birthday yet, so we cant let them in. Yesterday also got one case like that. Haiz...

So many days of work, I am still not learning anything....

Today, been giving ppl bad luck. Haiz.... Go work so many unlucky thing happen. Felt sorry for the person whom I work with. Lester. Nvr checked the age of the person, nvr check if they got bring outside food or not. Aiya. Y?

Today,everything was smooth. A nice fine day to begin with. My VB manage to work. So happy. Scold my sis thr sms. Dun wan her to sit in her 'chse' everyday. U have to come out once in a while. Ur mood must change also. Change for gd la. Slowly also can. Thats all I have to say. I know I sms you a lot everyday.

Today go school do fyp. Woke up t 11am today. Too slppy & very dizzy. Go JP wif my sis then go sch. Aiya, doing fyp in the chse. Felt funny but just do lah. All my sis friends are there perhaps she got the mood to do there. Trying to do my prototype, but got some errors and have not started at all. Tml got ITI test, didnt care at all. Today, got to see the person whom my sis has told on her blog. Hmmmm....sis, is ur choice & is his choice to choose.

Hi blog, nowadays been blogging once every few days. My sis very angry wif mi le. Not just because I didnt blog everyday, but then I neglect her yesterday during the afternoon briefing. I didnt mean to.

Wat I did for 10, 11 Jan & yesterday.

10 Jan. Go to school to do fyp. Didnt bring laptop wif mi casue all is hardcopy. Doing nth in the whole afternoon. Didnt get to meet Nana cause when I check my mail, the meeting time he has given mi is over. Then I resend another mail to him using my sis com. Got one guy there hugging my sis bear and slpping in the sofa. Then I rush to work le. Make new friends and think is mean friend ba. Aiya. They still young ma. Ask mi to do this & that. New Friends: Horace,Ivan,Melissa.

11 Jan. Go to sch in the morning, very slppy cause work until 12 plus last nite. Early in the morning split ourselves into 4 groups in our avfe class. Go out and film sth wif the video cam. Our group keep walking ard & didnt know wat to film. Boring. Someone say go swimming pool & film. Haha. We first record other group then ppl swimming. After all that filming, We went back and all of us gave the tutor the things we caught on video. After that, I waited in school to met my supervisor. Luckily he say I can start developing my prototype. Yeah. Can start le. After that, I went to my sis chse and sit there. So many ppl in the chse, so pai sei sitting there. Nth to say here cause my sis keep asking about fyp stuff, but then she didnt even touch on it. Sad. Going to rush to work again, saw my sis bear lying on someone laptop. Hmmm...It is a happy bear? My sis ask mi is it a male/female. Haha. Today, doing Floor wif a malay guy. He is a nice person & quite old. Hehe, only 30 la & single...haha. Then he say he got fiance. He smokes, funny. New Friends: Xing Yi, Ramlan,Garrick,Christina.

12 Jan. Didnt go sch today for an 'important' briefing. I dun care la. But my sis is there already. Ya...I left her alone out there. Mean, right? My head is bit giddy. Play, play & play until time to go to work again. Do,Do,Do at candy bar today. Nth for mi to remember. Go home early than that two days la. Keep smsing both my sis today. Wow. 50 plus outbox. Reach home, on my lappy & chat a bit. Then both sis went offline le. Ask Kelly if she got do her MQE, she ask to see my assignment. Haiz...Dun know if I think a lot, but now I given up. If friends r the type when they need help then suddenly will remember u de, then that is really not a friend at all. U r just a stepping stone for him/her to step on to reach their goals. I think Kelly is one & I am just a stone for ppl to step on. Haha. Siao. I say ask her friend loh, she got a few friends in the MQE class. New Friends: Christopher,Lye Huat,Yi Ming.

PS: Rong Ming say to the manager that I am that type of quiet boy...Now, U cant assume who I am. I have changed. Thanks to a few ppl & my class. I grew. Trying hard to be this way. Stop my worrying, keep simling, now, always. Hehe. Sis, I dun wan cheese now. All I wan is to see is that my 2 sis had a steady cheese and is settle down.
Rong Ming is right. Kelly is not the only girl in the world. Working in gv, saw many girls, but then didnt feel like looking at them.

Hi blog. So bz nearly forget about u...

Being almost three days le. Doing my work on Sat & Sun. Sat I am doing a nite shift. Start of work, scolded by VJ, cause I didnt count the amount correctly. Haiz... Dun know a lot of things yet lazy to learn. Serve customers must be fast. Mostly count wrong amount. This is worst. Before closing, we saw two guys carrying a girl, each grabing one hand & one leg trying to throw here down. One of her friends is buying sth from the candy bar. It is really dangerous cause they carried her until the edge le & over the ...dunno wat it is call le. Anyway, reach home by taxi at about 3am plus. Dun wan to wake up my family. Disturb my noisy hammie.

The following day, work up at 10 plus. Quickly do my MQE assignment. Hope I can pass cause got no one to ask. Dun dare to ask Kelly also. After that, I went to Bugis with my family. Saw many models & lots & lots of collective items. Wow. So many anime collective items. Wish I could buy them all. Wanted to buy sth but my bro said too expensive. All items are imported, thats y. THen I have to rush to my work place. Everything I done, very slowly. Kena scolded by so many ppl. Today scolded by one of my manager. Rong Ming doing RC and he went off soon after I go work. As usual, I am working in the candy bar. Dunno y this job makes mi happier. They say that at the candy bar, we can speak freely, the rest like the floor & box office, it will be very boring. Everyday doing closing, clean popcorn machine everyday. Today, I read my NLP book. The info inside really excites mi. Today, manage to talk to a few of my colleagues, found that most of them are 16, waiting for their 'O' Level.

After these few days, I found that boys != gentlemen. Y? So many customers, all the girls r carrying the popcorn & drinks. Boys didnt. Boys buy ticket & girls buy popcorn. Funny ma... No.

PS: This two days, dunno y, I misses all my friends a lot. Especially my 2 sis. Seldom see them online or in school. I also bz working. Worse of all, my schedule is ruin by my job. The coming Mon, Tues & Wed I got to work til closing. OMG. I dun care lah. Who to blame? Mi lah. Who ask mi nvr go write down the time on that sheet of paper.

Hi Hi Blog.. Just To inform u that I have nothing to write, just saying I'll be working tonite til morning. Cya tml.

Today, wat have I done....hmmm. MQE class. Early in the morning must come out & present sth. Preparing us for our assignment 1. Luckily, the tutor say can write in papers. Whew. I wrote sth about scolding my friends loh. How I should handle it if I have another chance. Should put myself on other ppl shoes before any action. After giving the paper to the tutor, the tutor gave us a mark cause it contribute to the participation marks, then we can go off. Wow. 8am class to 9am..cool. Nxt class got test. Didnt study at all. Sitting at the atrium waiting for my class wif Yong Wai & Willy eating sandwiches. After that we go co-op to buy drinks. Saw all my classmates gather there. Haha. Like a class gathering. I donated 10 bucks to the Tsunami donation drive. Lol. So little.

My MR class, tutor still give us revision before we had our test. Haha. The test qns all dunno. After 1 hour, go for lunch. So boring but yet so gd...Hehe.

The last class, too boring..to mention.

Tml need to work nite shift tml. Haiz... Who willing to visit mi?

NOTE: My sis seldom talk to mi le. Dun know y. Perhaps my assignment 1 should write sth like this.

This morning woke up at 7am. Go work... Learn sth new today....Hehe.. First time open a cashier. So scare. Luckily got auntie to help mi, she is very cheerful, working for GV for 13 years...Since the opening of GV Plaza. She gonna retired soon.. So many new things to learn.

My sis. Think she is still lying in bed ba. Sick loh. Ask her to go see doc dunno got go or not. The other meimei dunno go where le. Msn & sms her also no reply..

Oh well thats all.

This morning keep calling GV, nobody answer my call. Go to lec, then talk to Daniel. Haha. I know Rong Ming also say mi, say for a small matter wanna quit. Go for experience onli. Like this cant go on, then I dun know how I can work in the real environment. Right?

After the lec go eat lunch wif Jia Hui & Winnie, didnt eat la. Then went library and do fyp, Seriously didnt do at all. Tht my story board is ok ready. At 4pm, onli 4 of us r wif Nana. Liana msg mi, she say she at NUH... Dunno y. Kept calling my sis, hehe, wu liao.. About the presentation to Nana, mine got lots of problem & very few features. Must show him nxt week again. Jia Hui & Mei Fang ones r ok. So...gd. Jade came first time to meet Nana then went off after my presentation. Nana many things also dun wan to let us do...Hehe. After meeting Nana, Jia Hui looks so stress. But then, I felt so calm. Thats is not mi, am I like this? Starting of poly, everything, the stress word is like written on my face. Friends keep on saying dun stress. Now looking at Jia Hui, I didnt stress at all, I keep smiling. She got a lot of things to change. Maybe the scenario. Chill. Then we went back to library and I pack my bag then go home..Alone. My sis going silat.

At home, so many ppl online, no one bothers to reply mi. Wander y? Aiya. All doing fyp ma. Dumb. Most nicks r 'stress'. Haha. My sis not feeling well today. Poor girl.

Scare..Scare.. AVFE first assignment deadline. Aiya. Yesterday keep playing now panic. Then he say got demo someemore. Mine really lousy la. Aiya... After that met with Rong Ming to eat lunch, didnt eat as usual. Then go do my fyp wif Jia Hui, Winnie, Angeline, XiaoMei, Joshua & Rong Ming near the Blk 56. They dun wanna go library cause very cold. Trying to do my ERM while waiting for my sis. Wow...Can concentrate a lot without my lappy. Jie Hua came then went to the library cause there very hot. Saw Jia Hui & Rong Ming so stress. I also keep pesting Jia Hui. Nana say tml 4pm meet. Haiz... I got work leh. Call GV also no one pick up. 4pm, call my sis, then met her. She say she dun wanna go JP le. Haiz... Should be no mood again. This is common la. Maybe cause I say sth that she assume I am saying it is her fault. Assumption is not very gd at all. Dun assume things. I msg her a few times hoping to resolve sth.

Everytime I need someone/somebody to accompany mi then I can accomplish stuff. Today, although my sis didnt go to JP wif mi, I am very grateful to her cause I done sth for my fyp and not sitting at home playing game. It is not at my own will like wat my sis msg mi. I dun like to sit there doing my fyp. Sometimes I feel like it & sometimes I dun. Today is a dun feel like it day. Thinking since tml working then might as well go home play all day la. If there is no waiting for sth to happen, u would not wanna wait any longer. This is sth that is worth waiting. Maybe I am just use to wait for sth to happen. Believing in miracles a lot. Everytime saw u, dun know y I feel so relieve. Haha. Anyway, if u dun like ur bro then tell mi. And then tell mi sth I need to improve. Everyone is trying to improve himself/herself, for better or for worse. I wan ppl to advice mi for some reason, y? Only true friends will guide u and advice u. Dun be like mi, sometimes mood swing then my friends all scare of mi. Ask mi out, I say ok le then last min, backout.

After that I went to JP. Rong Ming & Hazel also going to JP. Throw the book into the return book slot then head down to the comic shop. Sad.. The comic havent come out. Go to mj & decide to buy my Ayumi cd. Dvd? Who can borrow mi so I can play it.... Going home just listening to Nobody's Home over & over again. Dun know y suddenly feel like it. Keep thinking of sis while listening.

Nite, found myself talking to a angry manager. Now wanna quit job also cannot. Now then I realise Ihave no time for work now. Wat am I going to do? So confuse. Y must make myself suffer. All my fault.

Wow. Early morning blog. Just came home. So tired. Saw Zhen Quan just now at the bus stop when going home. He watch soccer then wanna take taxi but no taxi for him to take. The bus also havent come. He still got a class today. Hehe. Funny. Y watch outside, still got a mrg class to attend also. These few days of work, most of my trainers r malay gals. Haiz... Make some friends. Make more errors. Get more scolding.

Haiz...Do my ERM wrongly. Now dun wanna do anything just wish to play. So boring. No one around to chat. Nadhirah also looks kind of moody again. Pls sis, smile more. Today met my secondary sch friend, he say I look fiece. Haiz...

Woke up at 2 Jan afternoon, yesterday doing nite shift. Play all the way from morning until when I was about to go work. Working area, new ppl, new faces. Packing nachos again. Ok lah...do very slow...Hehe. But then kena ask out to be cashier. Haiz. Everything cannot remember...so scared. The person keep on testing mi, make mi so confused. Saw Siew Fai, & one of our lecturer, at 1 am. Siew Fai didnt recognise mi. Worry about today, they going to ask mi to do. What am I going to do. Now very slpy.

My Sis -> Hope u slp well last nite. While u slpying, I miss u a lot. Haha.