Updating every thoughts that I have.
How I wish to blog yesterday, but oh well, blog today together lor.

Let see... I still a bit sad about my hamster death. I know la, quit thinking, nth la. Haiz...he pei mi since I came to NP til noe...been at least 2 yrs. Everyday when I am sian at home, I mostly will find my hamster then chat with him, if not I disturb him when he is sleeping. Sometimes it get frighten.. Ha. He is very active. Hard to handle. My mom always say that I am like talking to my son like that. And she scold mi because I go very near the cage and look at him, course dunno how many wk nvr wash le. Maybe I remember how it smell/stink, the way he bite the cage, climb the wheel, scratch himself. I like to gave him everything that I assume that he can eat. If he dun like, then he will give a signal saying he dun want. All the food he ate is mostly wat human eat la. I know u all will just say I will kill my hamster this way, but my hamster just go away in his sleep... Think if u r a hamster, everyday eat dried food, who would wan to, right?

That nite before he died, my bro came home & tell mi that he need to take pics of my hamster for his proj. I stop my game & go carry it. My bro say that he need to take pics of him dying. I try flipping it & I know that he wouldnt like to be flip, so I just tell my bro try to take pics in other positions. That nite, I cant remember it has been a month since I had hold him. It is like giving mi a last chance to see & hold my hamster, is it fate? These few days I have been thinking of him. Today, my mom brought some jelly. I remember that mom gave my hamster the jelly. I feel like giving it again, how I wish....I could... *Sob* *Sob* I stop blogging about him now... I just cant control the tears now.


I am having problema wif my sis. Perhaps wat I did is told the truth & result in a bad situation. Perhaps I have been thinking so much... She seems to be avoiding mi. I dun know. I realise I am so dumb 'saying it aloud'. Somehow, they didnt let the matter bothers them. With their help, I manage to get back my old self. I did my fyp like I promise myself. Try to stop irritating my sisters. Now I feel like forgetting that I have two sis. Haha.. Not that I dun wan them, sometimes, I wish that I can have a friend to share my problem. Then ask myself, who r they to u? Wat do u wan from them? Y keep bothering them? Dun u see that they have a lot of problems themselves? I was wondering y in the first place I have godsis? Is it a gf I wanted instead of any friends/sis? I dun have anyone to love or be love....is it this that I wan from them. So confuse!! Kiwi think so much for wat. So naive...lame guy, do ur fyp first. Concentrate.

PS : Tell mi wat is love? How does it feel like?


Yesterday working in gv. I saw a girl. Wow, red long hair, skinny gal. Dun know y I am so attracted to her. Cute ba. Oh well... I have been sort of acting funnily these few days. Wondering, Kiwi, y keep looking at girls wif big eyes & long hair & skinny de? Y keep looking for appearence? Y am I so dumb? Y keep thinking of irrelevant stuff? Wat? U wan a gf like ayumi arh? Siao la. Snap out of it, Kiwi...


Everyone has 2 personnality in our own self. I named my 2 personnality as Kiwi & Khian Wei. Haha.

Khian Wei is 'quite' a quiet guy, so stress up in everything he do. He scolds his best friend before. A hot-tempered guy, who keeps everything to himself. Like wat some will say, a shy guy. He gets moody everyday. Irritates most of his friend. Seldom got friend to talk to cause they all scare he suddenly yell at them. After his 'first sis', he become a bit more open.

Kiwi. A guy after his ITP & his 'second sis'. He dun stress up like Khian Wei. He is more cheerful. Well sort of. He is now working in gv. Must smile when doing this kind of work. Must make sure that ppl will feel welcome. Haha. Kiwi is quite different from Khian Wei.
Trying to switch to & fro btw these 2. When I am working, I can activate Kiwi. If I am doing fyp, I can activate Khian Wei. If friends doing fyp wif mi, sometimes I just activate Kiwi to tell them to relax.