Updating 2 days blog, since my sis hate mi so much le, I guess can write more here. Everytime how I wish I wasnt writing any blog. Every blog is all sad memories, y isnt there any happy ones?

Monday 31-1-05
Wasnt my day. Cant concentrate on my work and wat I am doing. Very depress. Losing a sis and a gd friend. Thats all........

Tuesday 1-2-05
Here, writing my blog, crying. Blaming myself for wat I have done. I deleted her from my blog. She is happier now, I think. That day saw ur blog after our arguement, u say u dun have a bro. Hurt. I been wondering wat started the arguement and y? Wat am I trying to say to u? Wat r our assumptions? This morning at 2am, lying in bed, I cant sleep, staring at the ceiling kept thinking of Nad. The days during our ITP & going out wif her. I cant forget it. It is all my fault losing a friend/sis. Haiz. Writing all this is just temperary because this is how I felt for now. Words put in any where is hard to change, so action does the rest. Y? Y am I so stupid? Cound't make any friends? Now, even make them go away...... Feel like dying.

I dun wanna compare anything. U at least got chse friends, got ppl chasing u, u r lucky. For mi, I kept myself at home everyday, practically doing nth. From Pri till now. Hardly any old friends. Before I came to NP, one of my friends told mi that he hopes I am not at the same class as him. No one to talk to, no one to help mi, share my thts, believe in mi. Felt so lost. Ppl just treat mi as some kind of tools. I dun wanna make any enemies, trying not to lose any friends cause I have a few.

I try to chat wif them nowadays, no one responsed. I take initiative to ask to chat. No one takes the initiative to chat wif mi before. No one even go 'shopping' wif mi before. U help mi c sth in this world. I met u, I live a far more different life. I like the way I am now, but now, I have started to go back. Way back.

I am the one who is always the odd one out. Every time when I go out wif Rong Ming, Din, Anizah & Hazel, I am always the odd one. Everytime looking at them laughing talking to one another. I dun feel like talking cause when I talk, it is all about work, sch work, fyp .... It irritates ppl. I dun have any common interest as wat they have. Hate scoccer, car, almost everythings that guys really like.

I wan u back. Could I ever? Hope u will not hate mi for this. Nad, I will always remember u ass my sis & not a friend.